One Year Later: Why Our Kids Need Us to Focus on the Positive

One year ago yesterday, my students left the classroom with books and whatever they would need for the next two weeks. I closed my classroom door, never expecting that it would be almost a year before we would return.

On this anniversary of the beginning of probably one of the most challenging years our country has experienced, I feel incredibly thankful for being able to be back in the classroom with a handful of students. While our reality is still far from normal, it feels like we are getting closer every day. Just being able to be in the presence of young people again gives me an energy and hope that I haven't had for such a long time.

However, I can't stop thinking about all the deficit-thinking I keep hearing. Lately, I have heard many discussions and read various articles about how the kids are "behind." Behind what? The artificial standards the education system has created? Behind their peers who have also had to live through and navigate the past year? I have read about the "learning loss" they have sustained as a result of the various means of educating them this past year. How will they catch up? What practices can we put in place in order for them to get back what they have lost?

Calling attention to the supposed deficits our kids have is taking away from everything they are and still can be. Instead of focusing on what they might be missing, why don't we concentrate on what our kids can do? We have asked them to be flexible - to learn from their bedrooms, kitchen tables, or a closet down the hall. We've asked them to stay away from their friends, not hug their grandparents, to cover their smiles wherever they go. And what have they done? They have listened. They have accepted the rules. They have adjusted. They have made us proud.

Our kids have learned more over the past 12 months than they would have otherwise. They've lived through a pandemic. They've learned to find new ways to play. They have learned self-discipline and responsibility. Many have learned to navigate new technology and have had to attend school in ways that are completely different from what they are used to. They've had to help out more at home. Some have had to learn how to process the stages of grief as they've experienced the loss of someone they love. Many have learned to appreciate small things, and for the first time, some may have learned what a privilege it is to be able to go to school.

The past year has not been easy on anyone, and to continually point out what our kids are not learning is to diminish everything they have learned. Maybe they are not on a certain reading level - yet - or able to complete an advanced math problem - yet - but they are doing the best they can in a time in their lives that has been unlike any other. To claim that kids aren't learning anything is to marginalize all the work students, teachers, and parents are doing to try to make this year as normal as possible when it is anything but.  

In a normal school year, there are kids who are "behind." This is not a new concept, but the pandemic has exacerbated it by bringing attention to it as everyone watches how schools respond. What about the kids who were already reading below grade level, who had trouble completing grade-level math? Teachers have been losing sleep for years trying to figure out ways to meet and reach each child where they are - without the added layers of uncertainty, worry, and grief that have infiltrated this entire school year.

Where they are. That is a concept that really should be brought to the forefront of the discussions about education currently. Instead of holding onto the grandiose ideas of where kids should be, why not focus on where they are - and then try to move them forward? Find ways to engage them, let them be creative, motivate them to want to learn. Find ways to build them up instead of letting them hear us speak of all the ways they are falling behind. Why not recognize and celebrate the strengths of our kids and build from there?

We have to change our deficit thinking into the kind of thinking that is going to help kids grow and become the thriving teens and adults we know they can be. It only takes a few influential adults in a child's life to help change that child's trajectory. Deficit thinking sets our kids up for failure, but a strong belief in their assets is what can make all the difference. 

Kids are always listening, watching, emulating our behaviors. If they are constantly hearing about how behind they are, where is the motivation to try to move ahead? We need to focus on the multitude of things kids can do. Don't negate the fact that everyone is trying their best. Our kids are going to be okay. Give them a hug. Sit down and read a book together. Have a conversation. They have a lot to teach us about resiliency and flexibility, and they will continue to rise to our expectations.